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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974413">Damnit Jim</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_one_kid_over_there/pseuds/That_one_kid_over_there'>That_one_kid_over_there</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Begging, Blow Jobs, Couch Sex, Hair-pulling, M/M, Pet Names, References to The Office (US), Sub Dave Strider, Top Karkat Vantas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:33:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_one_kid_over_there/pseuds/That_one_kid_over_there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>all Karkat wanted to do was watch The Office and here he is now, but he isn't complaining</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Damnit Jim</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dave was at work, so that left Karkat to his devices. Usually he didn't do anything too extreme. He would laze around the house, watch tv, maybe read. Today The Office was what interested him, even if it was the 5th time watching it. John originally suggested the show to him but knowing his taste in movies he was surely hesitant. But when the rest of the humans said to watch it he finally gave in. He honestly didn't get a lot of the humor and he didn't like a lot of the characters but he surely grew to love them....over time. Jim reminded him a lot of Dave. It was the pranks and jokes he made on Dwight that made him think of his partner. Jim did a funny prank on the tv and Karkat's thoughts were quickly flooded with his boyfriend. Holding Dave's hand, laughing at him, him petting Karkat's hair, them cuddling together, Dave telling him how he was such a good boy-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat's thoughts travelled to a horny place way too quickly for his comfort. He tried to focus back on the show but so many delicious scenarios filled his head. Dave had only been gone for a few hours. Why was he this needy? Usually the one being needy is Dave. Soon the wetness between his legs made his borrowed boxers uncomfortable. Dammit he couldn't take this anymore. He shimmied the stupid damp cloth off of him. The cold air hit his throbbing nook which made him hiss just slightly. His bulge showed eagerness that just proved how pathetically horny he was. His own bulge was an okay size and it’s definitely the perfect size for Dave or so he’s heard, but not exactly all that Karkat wanted. Alas that would have to do. All Karkat could think about was that stupid blonde with his stupid sexy red eyes. He inserted two of his fingers inside him along with the bulge and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span> he felt so full. He muffled the sounds he was making with his oversized sweater sleeve. Unfortunately something muffled the sound of Dave walking up to the door and eventually opening it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave could see the red genetic mess forming under his small partner. Blush formed on the part of his face that wasn't covered by his sweater. Muffled mewls and moans came from the troll. Dave wasn't sure whether to say something or keep watching, though the last option seemed to be more appealing. He rarely gets to see Karkat like this so he might as well savior it. "Ah! fuck D-Dave" Well that was his cue. "Yes baby?" Karkat's eyes flew open, his hand quickly moved away from the red mess forming "I-I can explain" Dave set down whatever he was holding (it honestly wasn't that important right now) along with his shades and strolled over to the couch, "No need" He grabbed his hand and licked the slick off the fingers that were just in the troll. Karkat felt a whimper leave his throat as he watched. The slick tasted like sweet cherry and Dave wanted more. He spread apart the smaller ones legs. Dave's mouth started watering, but could you blame him? Karkat's bulge and nook looked absolutely delectable. But was Dave gonna start eating out his painfully hot boyfriend on the spot? Of course not, he's gonna tease the ever living shit out of the small troll. He leaned forward and gave Karkat a kiss which quickly turned into a make out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave traced the troll’s teeth with his tongue. They were so sharp but he had adjusted to kissing Karkat without slashing his tongue open, it’s not like he would mind that though. Karkat lost any and all self control right then. He bite down slightly on the blonde’s tongue getting a sharp gasp. It seemed that Dave lost his self control too. The blonde ran his hand down the trolls thigh, gripping it tightly so his nails dug into the soft flesh. His other hand found its way through Karkat’s messy black hair and pulled his head back, exposing the unmarked grey skin. He licked the troll's throat with a stifled gasp as his response. Taking that as a sign to keep going, Dave not so gently bit down on his throat. Karkat moaned and bucked his hips into the blondes causing a chain reaction of moaning and grinding. Dave started planting hickeys at a </span>
  <em>
    <span>torturously</span>
  </em>
  <span> slow pace. “Da-ave please-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please what babe, use your words” Dave nipped at the troll's neck. Karkat squeaked in surprised and stuttered, “P-Please </span>
  <em>
    <span>ah</span>
  </em>
  <span> please fuck m-me” Dave slipped his hand under the troll’s hoodie and lifted it off the troll. He hummed contently and moved his kisses lower. The troll huffed, “I’m never this mean to you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not, you’re actually meaner.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What! How the fuck am I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>AH</span>
  </em>
  <span>” The blonde had bitten hard on the trolls magnificently, thick thigh. He kept abusing the spot he had bitten, sucking to make a delightful hickey. Dave kept kissing closer and closer towards the oozing bulge and throbbing nook, but he still wasn’t quite there which drove Karkat insane. “Please for love of all that is holy-” Karkat didn’t get to finish the sentence as Dave shoved his tongue roughly into the cool nook. Karkat all but yelled. His hand quickly found Dave’s blonde hair. Dave lapped up the cherry flavored genetic fluid getting whines and whimpers from the blushing mess above him. Dave couldn’t help but want to taste more. He buried his tongue deeper, exploring all the folds and finding even more delicious slick. He felt Karkat gripping his hair tightly and he started to pull slightly, which of course drove Dave crazy. He let out a low moan which sent vibrations of pleasure up Karkats spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave felt the trolls bulge leaving a stripe of sticky red on his cheek. Karkat felt the loss of his boyfriend's tongue on him. He was going to protest when Dave took his bulge entirely into his mouth. Karkat shouted in pleasure. Dave was pushed down on the bulge, gagging slightly and moaning loudly. Between the hair pulling and being gagged on his boyfriend's excellent bulge it was very hard to not lose dominance in this situation. A part of him just wanted Karkat to fuck his face until his voice was gone. But another part of him wanted to milk this experience for all it was worth, quite literally. With that being said, Dave tried to focus through the horny haze that managed to fill his eyes. He moved his hands up to the trolls hips to pin them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave bobbed his head at a slow pace. Karkat tried bucking up into his mouth but failed miserably and let out a strangled moan. “Dave faster </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Dave popped off the bulge and licked his lips, “If I do go faster what’s in it for me?” The smug grin the blonde had plastered on his face really irked Karkat. He yanked the blonde up till he was a little less than an inch away from Karkat’s face. “If you don’t behave I will show you how mean I can really be.” a low growl resonated from the troll’s voice as he spoke, which went directly to Dave’s dick.Oh how the turn tables. Well his reign as the dominant one this time around was short lived but the images of his boyfriend blushing like a virgin will always stay in his brain. “Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sir</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good boy” A shiver ran down the blonde’s spine. He once again took the entirety of the bulge in his mouth, letting it gag him as it hit the back of his throat. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. He started bobbing his head setting a faster pace than before, moaning loosely as the troll pulled on his hair. Just as Dave was hoping, Karkat thrust into his throat in time with the pace he had set. The horny haze slowly started creeping its way back. Karkat completely took over. Pushing the blondes head down as he thrust up, of course Dave had no complaints whatsoever. “Fuck i’m gonna c-cum” the troll grunted harshly. Karkat’s thrust began getting faster as his climax was nearing. “Fuck!” With a final thrust he spilled his genetic fluid deep into Dave’s throat. Dave knew damn well that his voice was going to be gone tomorrow. He got more of that insatiable cherry flavor and gulped it down like a greedy child. The troll harshly tugged on the human’s hair and crashed his lips violently against the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat tasted the sticky fluid in his partner's mouth, savoring the flavor. He snaked his hands up the blonde’s shirt, feeling his lover’s slender chest. He brushed against the other’s nipple getting a sharp gasp. The troll moved back from Dave, leaving him gasping. He already looked fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrecked</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His lips were swollen and his pupils were blown out with lust. Karkat felt a smirk make its way on his face. He lifted Dave’s shirt off completely and immediately latched himself onto one of the humans' nipples. “A-Ah! Ka-at” Karkat used his other hand to unzip Dave’s pants. He slipped his hand so it would rest on top of the tent forming in his partner's boxers. “Pl-ease Kat-” Karkat sucked hard on the nipple and pulled off it with a pop, earning a good whimper from the blonde. “Please what? You’re going to have to be more specific with what you want me to do babe, I’m not a mind reader you know.” Before Dave could properly respond, the troll bit down hard on the human’s neck. “Fuck! Plea-se Kat I-I need aH!” Karkat unhelpfully started making hickeys on Dave’s collarbone and neck. “Go on,” the troll said as he nipped at skin. “I ne-ed you” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Need me for what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh for fucksake I need you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>rail </span>
  </em>
  <span>me! I need your thick bulge inside me </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the love of fuck!” Karkat let out a deep chuckle. He moved his face close to Dave’s to the point that their lips were almost touching. “I love it when you talk like that, desperate and impatient, it drives me fucking crazy.” A bright red hue crawled over Dave’s face. Without giving much warning Karkat picked his blushing human up and hurried to the bedroom. Karkat was a lot stronger than he looked, granted he was still the “weaker” among the other trolls. The blonde instinctively wrapped his legs around the trolls waist, whimpering slightly at the accidental friction he was getting. He was thrown on the plush mattress. Karkat put two fingers to his face, “suck” Without hesitation Dave took the digits into his mouth and began sucking on them like it was his last meal on death row. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The troll scattered soft kisses on his lover’s stomach, which despite the circumstances made Dave get the butterfly feeling in his gut. Before too long the Karkat started leaving hickeys. That man really loved marking people, but hey Dave couldn’t complain. Karkat removed his fingers from his lover's mouth. Dave let out a whine of protest before it was immediately replaced with a soft moan. Karkat had inserted a finger into his lover's tight hole. It didn’t take long for him to insert a second finger.He scissored him open gently and soon enough Dave was whimpering out pleas. “Kaaattt” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes baby boy?” Dave melted at the pet name. You thought he was melted before? Well whoo boy were you wrong, he is now a pile of mush, A gay horny soup if you will. “I need more, I need you please please </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Karkat felt his bulge twitch in interest. “Such a good boy, I didn’t even have to ask you to beg like that. I might have to reward you.” Karkat swiftly removed his fingers and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of his lover's cock. “But,” The trolls quickly positioned them so Dave was sitting on Karkat’s lap, “you’re going to have to do a little more to earn it” Dave felt his lovers’ bugle wrap around his dick and </span>
  <em>
    <span>squeeze</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The lewd he let out only encouraged Karkat more. As much as Dave wanted the Bulgejob</span>
  <span>™, but knowing the troll he wouldn’t let him cum and that’s something Dave was kinda hoping to do. “Babe, pl-” Karkat smacked his ass, “Sir! Please! I wanna ride bulge!” Dave was beyond caring if he was being too loud he hasn’t had a good fuck in a week so he was going to be as loud as he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bulge unwrapped itself from Dave, “Well? Give me a good show baby boy” He didn’t need to be told twice. Dave impaled himself on his lovers’ bulge. Before he gave himself time to adjust he rose back up and did it again. The sound of skin slapping quickly filled the room. Dave was a broken record repeating only his lovers’ name. Karkat didn’t know how long he was going to last. Between Dave’s tight ass clenching around him and how fucked out his human looked, he had to keep himself from cumming on the spot. “F-Fuck i’m g-gon-ngh ah!” Karkat grabbed Dave's hips and thrusted up. “Cum for me baby” Karkat slammed into Dave’s prostate which made him see stars. With almost a scream Dave came, painting his and his lover’s chest in white. The tightness and incredible heat, his lover covered in hickeys, his face when he came, those were what did him in. With a loud moan Karkat pumped his red fluid into Dave, getting another moan from the human before he collapsed on Karkat’s chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but when he woke up, he was pressed against his trolls’ chest. He looked up to see Karkat’s eyes closed. “Hey, you awake?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“.....no” </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “So uh, what got you acting like a total sub earlier, it was like sub town that was selling submarines” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, but very bold of you to assume I’d tell you” Dave didn’t need to beg for answers because he knew the troll's weak points. He gently began kissing Karkat’s neck and felt the low purring that was building up. “Ugh, fine just stop that” Dave looked back up at his boyfriend with big ol' doe eyes. “I was watching The Office and Jim may or may not have lead to me thinking about, um, you” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So is this your way of saying I should try topping again” Dave wiggled his eyebrows “Like you actually could” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I was doing pretty good before you yoinked the shit out of my hair” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You act like you didn’t enjoy it” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a point but listen-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuses excuses, now shut it and sleep cause I’m tired” Dave smiled and put one more gentle kiss on his troll's neck before curling up in his chest. Karkat kissed the top of his humans head and quickly fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
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